If I voice out my thoughts to both of them...either of them...they will not talk to me...then I'll feel the other pain...Just like how that person is not talking to me anymore...both ways hurts... If I tell this to ppl I think I trust, they will just spread rumours around...I really want to change school...girl's school is like a living hell on earth for a girl like me...but I dun wan to create trouble for my parents...they are already so stressed up with work...I....argh! At least im not that lonely anymore. I finally have that someone. Someone that I can fully trust without worrying about anything or whatsoever. Classmates...they might act nice infront of u, but they always have something in mind...like more 'gossips' more 'stories'...I hate this kind of ppl...and ppl who tries to steal my only friends in class...if they dun like me, I'm fine with that, but dun take my friends away! Want to make my school life, my secondary 1 life miserable then happy iszzit?! This type of ppl...argh...troublemakers...nothing better to do...they make me sick... Whenever I feel like that person is my friend, I treat them very nice, but after awhile, I will find that they are just acting...pretending...to get a certain something from me...its like everyone has a motive when they talk to me...I hate it...why am I so different? Don't I belong somewhere in class?...im very tired...I'm tired of trying to find friends...im very tired...sick and tired...betrayed...lied...act...tell others about my secrets...betray my trust and friendship...attitude...gossips... All adds up to my bad memories of the past few months in my new school...I give up...I really give up... I just want to be in your arms...thats all...I dun wan to make my parents worry...I dun wan anything...

My heart feels like it has been continuously punched with needles...time and again...it hurts...Each time he talks about that girl...so close yet so far...blood related...argh!>< I never want to talk to him ever again! I dun wan to feel that pain anymore! Why does he keep hurting me? yet he doesn't even realise it...ARGH! Her Her Her...isn't there anything else he can talk about?! If he likes her so much, why can't he just get back with her!!? Instead of acting like he hates her. Why can't the both of them just admit that they like each other?! Instead of repeatedly saying "He/She is the worse person! I hate him/her!" Then still tell me about each other...it hurts so much...Its like listening to your crush talking to you about another girl/boy... Sometimes, I feel like shouting at him "Shut up! I dun wanna listen! I dun wanna hear it anymore! I dun wan to hear that name from u! Stop it! Just stop saying it! I never want to talk to you ever again! You're hurting me deeper and deeper! When are u gonna stop!" Argh...but I could never bring myself to say that to either of them...they are practically driving me crazy... hurting me even more...each time they talk about each other...I just wanna shut them up...

Just came back from school~ Yay tmr no CCA^^ and...Kevin asked me out last night, hahaz! Not very surprised though. I'm still pissed about the fact that he chose my cousin over me 4 years ago...hmph...But he is like a 'friend' now. Werid one who wants to throw cake at my face><. Well he is not sure where to go yet... I find movies a little boring now... but if its with friends then I dun mind^^ as long as its not my parents! They half way want to go home de! There was one time my parents just abandon me n go home u know!! Aiyo><>< Have a craving for it... And Kevin wants to throw cake into my face, all because I 'applied' his birthday cake cream on his face at his birthday party hahaz! So funny! I should've taken a picture of him!! HAHAHAZ! Panda~ Really looked like a panda~ but he ain't a cuddly one hahaz. He is...mmm...funny at times I guess. He is so tall now...goodness...im only at his shoulder or something...so freakin' tall!! Well my 7th monnaversary is this Wednesday!! XD Can't wait! 7 months already^^ Faster faster make it 1 year!XD! And it will be another neckalce, but this time, its a pair one^^ Puzzel~ hahahahaz^^ Okie time to play facebook!

Well...I find that ppl are more interested with love stories, so maybe I should talk about my love life? Or maybe not><><

Oh and I have a puppy now!~ His name is Raquel Ng Xiao Bai^^ Adorable white male maltese^^ I took him for a walk in the park behind united square this afternoon. With a special someone^^ Not a good idea to type out the name. Later there would be some...bugs popping out n spreading rumours...in school~. I'm enjoying all my fencing lessons^^in school and at Z. I won 3rd for the recent under 14 team event^^ Alipha, Stef Ang and I fenced like mad! Stef yeap tried her best as well^^A great friend. Oh and I created a quiz on facebook, its called "How well do you know Pearl" Someone got 95%~ hahaz. Stef got 45% =(, Oh nevermind its better than a 0% right? Well my day today was...awesome! XD! The walk in the park was great. And I went to the zoo on Friday!^^ So fun!! XD And watched G-force on Thrusday! Whoohoo! With the same person^^ Although it rained while we were at the Zoo, it was still very fun n enjoyable^^ KFC~ Ah~ ^^ it tasted so Heavenly~ I seldom eat fastfood nowadays coz my maid always cooks...home cooked food everyday...I eat until siian and scared already na!!><. My school life is completely...well trashed. All becuz of my carelessness of letting my so called 'trusted' ppl to read my diary. I'm so stupid!...So careless!...Argh><. How about...almost whole class and some ppl from other classes....thats so called the root of my sadness now?...Girls...somehow I regret choosing a all girls school...Goodness...Boys always say" girls are very scary" now I see what they mean...girls are really scary...Some even ruine my school life. Thankfully I have super nice friends to comfort me, im really very touched^^

Hmmm okay lets see...the school holidays just ended. Mmm... I'm upset about somethings...But I realise that many friends care about me^^ They all say "dun cry for such a stupid thing la k, its not worth ut tears" "just ignore la kay, this is a very small prob" ^^I want to thank all the ppl who comforted me in my time of need. Ppl like Stef Yeap^^ Kevin^^ Gab^^ And Mavis^^ They all agreed that it was crap hahaz. And also some ppl from school, like Chloe Ng, Vanessa and Yu Hui. I'm lucky to have them as friends. Well, now I realise that I have friends in class, late isn't it? Just when I feel that I hate my class, these few ppl pop out^^ hahaz how I wish they pop out earlier. Well going back to school tmr. My holiday was...whacky!! hahahahahahaz^^ My so called "lost" friend found me a few days ago. We lost touch for a very long time, about one year. And once he found me, we just talked non-stop^^ hahaz it was very fun. He has changed a lot. From a little brat, to a mature guy. FYI he is a year younger than me. And...I've completely lost to him...he is only 12 and he has 'toyed' with 11 girls already!!! GOODNESS! He is a very fun person to talk to, I kept making him say "Sakura is very cute" hahaz it was torture to him! It was hilarious^^hahahhahahahahhaz. I really had a lot of fun talking to him. But now...he doesn't talk to me much...becuz we kinda chose the wrong 'path' and things are kinda awkward now, and its not easy to turn things back to the way it was before...so...I kinda regret...I feel terrible that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore><...so sad...im like very sad this whole week...becuz of 2 big waves...one is this, and another is like being stab from the back from the person u once called 'friend'...im pathetic aren't I?...haix...Well at least I have 2 ppl to support me through^^

Ah again long time never post hahaz. I dun really like to use blogs><><><>< hahaz, TO PEOPLE WHO READ MY BLOG: Please dun fell offended in any way okay, I'll try not to mention names or anything, but if you think u are the person im talking about, then thats your own damn bussiness hor, coz it may n may not be. I will only write in names when its a good thing kay^^ Well, I'll start blogging again today, Kimberly I know u like to read my diary, you think its interesting I know that, Jia Xuan does too. But please understand that I dun let ppl read anymore becuz u guys will like go tell ppl abt my diary and stuff...which I hate...So I'll blog instead alrite? Krystal...this is ur bedtime story^^Enjoy! I hope everyone will like reading!

Pearl Elizabeth Ng
& stuff
12 February 1996!
I love Fencing!